I continue to try, and here's another attempt.
We’re not unique
although we try
with ink, piercings, clothes,
some try hats,
wanting to be like Jesus
genus idiomaticum
an event unto itself
special in the world.
The random clutch
of father’s sperm and mother’s egg
never happened before
or so we think.
Don’t look at cockroaches,
they breed the same.
I think this poem needs to be slowed down a bit. I went back and read a third time, placing a break between the 3rd and 4th line. I don't believe you need the 8th line. Another break may come after the 9th line. These are my suggestions.
ReplyDeleteI liked this poem when you read it.
ReplyDelete